Acceptance is the Answer
Last time I went into the “why” of the way I live my life. I want and I don’t want specific things and because of this I do specific things. This is just an example of actions dictating outcomes. I love something I heard years ago from a woman I really admired. She said, “ If you want what I have, then do what I do.” Sounds simple enough. But as we all know simple isn’t always easy. I have put a lot of work into remodeling my life. I have a long way to go but I’m proud of the direction I’m headed. There are a few specific behaviors that govern the way I live my life today. Let’s dive into what I feel is the most important one: Acceptance.
Most of you have heard this concept before; you just have to accept that you can’t control people, places and things. There it is in a nutshell, the secret to a more peaceful life. We have all put acceptance into practice at various times in our lives. But that’s just it, how often do you do this? Some of the time, most of the time, rarely, never? Let’s be brutally honest. The bulk of our population operates in a manner that displays the polar opposite of acceptance. There is so much conflict, strife and unnecessary stress in our world today. A lot of it really just boils down to someone not being able to accept something.
None of us have the power to change the overall course of our lives. We can make good choices and decisions that will positively effect the direction we head, but we can’t do anything to change the big stuff. If you don’t believe there is a power greater than yourself then you may not buy into what I’m saying. For those of you that do, keep reading, because I’m going to talk about hope. We all need hope to propel us forward, to keep us moving. Acceptance brings us to a place of hope. If you can wholly accept something, you can then have hope for a certain outcome. The alternative is not being in acceptance and living your life in resentment, anger, guilt, sadness, or a host of other emotions that don’t serve any of us well.
Six and a half years ago I was exposed to a life changing program. It wasn’t by choice but it ended up saving my life and changed me forever. I accepted that I needed help and hope allowed me to stay committed each day. I learned a lot about myself and was forced to take a hard look at my behavior patterns and track record of poor decisions. One thing that really stood out was my inability to accept people, places and things (mostly people). Historically I was just used to getting my way and when I didn’t I went into a tailspin. Ultimately I couldn’t accept things because I was selfish and arrogant. I could sugar coat it and label it differently but let’s just call it like it is. I thought my way was the best way and didn’t care what your way was. The reality is that acceptance often requires humility. I love the way I heard humility defined years ago as teachable. That sums it up, I was not teachable.
So how exactly did I start accepting things and start to live life differently? The answer is quite simple; I made a choice. We can choose how we react to things, how we feel and how we behave moving forward, regardless if we like or agree with what we accept. I was so tired of being irritable, restless and discontent that I was willing to make different choices. “Would you rather be happy or right”? I love this. I use this phrase all of the time. These days I choose to be happy. I don’t need to prove to anyone that I’m right because that’s just my ego. I would rather avoid all of the needless arguments and stress that used to engulf my life. It’s not easy all of time and I often have to bite my tongue, but it gets easier because I do it more often than not. Making the same choices day after day ends up becoming a habit, good and bad. As I said earlier, choices dictate outcomes so it’s important to choose the easier, softer way which is called acceptance. If you choose to accept things as they are, I guarantee that you will have a far better outcome most of the time.
I read a book many years ago called “Choose Happiness” by Jeffrey Zahn in which he speaks about happiness being an internal choice, not an external condition. I love this and I feel acceptance is the same. It’s a choice and the choice dictates what internal condition we place ourselves in. I’m going to assume that most of us prefer peaceful conditions. I know I sure do! Well, the answer is acceptance. It will allow to you maintain internal peace even when external things are completely out of your control!